Self Care for Mothers
We often talk about self-care and how it is important to do as parents, but we often neglect to actually do it because “we don’t have time for it”. Raising children, especially young children or children with special needs, can be challenging for parents. Often times, both parents need a break but rarely do they have the opportunity to do so.
Every family has different roles that moms and dads play, but there seem to be some common threads between families in the mother and father roles. In the spirit of mothers day we will focus on moms and how moms can take power in taking care of themselves so they can love more to their families and feel loved! Mothers are the matriarchy of their family! This is an extremely important role that includes (but may be different depending on your family) making sure everyone’s needs are met, planning and controlling the families calendar, making celebrations feel special, heavy cooking and cleaning duties, making sure their children and husband feel special and loved, and maybe even having a career to top it off! Each of these responsibilities have subcategories, each one can be time consuming, and often times mom’s juggle all of these responsibilities all at once! To top it off, society seems to be putting ever the more pressure on moms today than any other time. There are mothering standards from previous generations that are expected of today’s mothers, new demands from new knowledge that we have learned in child development, health, and parenting philosophies in the last 2 decades, and today’s mothers’ own expectations that they would like to parent and run their family. This combination of responsibilities and expectations is a recipe for burn out! Here are our tips for refilling your energy tank so you can love more, find more joy in your life and family, and cherish every moment with your children and spouse.
Get help!
Mothers take the responsibility of “make sure everyone’s needs are met” to heart and often fail to take the help they need. Tip #1 is get help! You may feel like you are on an island but you don’t have to be! Ask help from your spouse, get help to help reduce stuck stress such as a neurological chiropractor (relives stuck in stress in the nervous system), physical therapy (muscular and tissue work to combated adaptations your body has done to stress), massage therapy (lymphatic and relaxation work), acupuncture (energy work that affects multiple systems), and counseling (mental stress and much more). Health care is much more than getting labs done each year. There are many tools out there that help promote well being, relieve stress, and optimize your mental, physical, and spiritual health. It is amazing how different you may feel if you can get your physical health feeling better, not ignore your mental health, and ask for help with your daily activities. You’ll be more energized, feel more at peace, and ready to tackel your responsibilities more willingly. That’s a pretty good start in the right direction!
2. Grace
Having grace for yourself is one of the best gifts you can possibly give for yourself! This addresses the expectation part in mothering. We know you are pulled in a million different directions and sometimes it feels like you can never do right by everyone. This brings on shame and guilt. Your loving husband can give you free time to spend on yourself, but all you are thinking while your away is how you’re disappointing everyone, and hence the time becomes not fulfilling, not regenerative, and not self-love.
Grace can look like many forms such as: it’s okay if your kids don’t eat that perfect meal, every meal of every day, that the house isn’t in perfect order because you spent time playing and teaching your kids (or that you just sat and relaxed a bit), that every celebration or holiday is always a hallmark experience but mostly filled with love and family, or maybe you forgot to write that thank you letter and just said thank you the next time you saw that person. Moral of the story is you don’t have to be perfect momma!
The biggest and most impactful way to give yourself grace is to make your mind on how you are going to mother and then go for it. Society, friends, and family will all have opinions on how you should do things as a mother, a spouse, a career woman, a church goer, the list goes on! There is wisdom from listing to your mother and other elders, there is power in new knowledge that has come out in our generation, but ultimately this is your life! We know that you love your kids and spouse. Take all this information and decide how you want things to be done. Make your way of life yours! And then do it! Then, give yourself grace when you don’t meet other people’s expectations because you are doing it your way! This will save your heart, calm your anxiety, and give space to focus on what matters.
3. Focus on the moment
Mothers are often the planners of the family. This can sometimes make is difficult to live in the moment and steal joy from making memories with your kids and spouse. It is important to be intentional with our time and how we spend our time in our mind.
Use a calendar, involve your spouse in decision making (this might mean that things are not done completely the way you would do them… but that’s okay!), and fight to make sure your family isn’t too “booked”. Fight for space where your family has nothing to do! It is good for kids to be bored sometimes. It sparks imagination and can be the freest and most fun times to spend with your kids. If your family has room for nothing to happen, it also means that is time where you get to be you in your family. You are no longer just a means of food, transportation, cleaner, organizer, and teacher in the home, you get to be you! Yes you are a mother, but it is important for your kids to see their mom as a human being with their own personal quarks, wants, dreams, and personality. Your spouse wants you to you. So give yourself space in your schedule for that to happen!
We hope you enjoyed this installment of our blog here at CJ Chiropractic. We are local pediatric, pre-natal, and family chiropractors here in Colorado Springs, CO. We pride ourselves in having a holistic approach to health and well being. If there is dis-ease in your family, your feeling burnt out, or maybe your child’s needs or behavior could use ease; we are here for families just like yours! Call or fill out our contact information to talk with our staff and get help today!
What are you waiting for!?!
